He's got us
Hanne reflects on lockdown
This song – "My Dear” by Bethel Music – came out when I was just about to graduate from my Discipleship Training School (YWAM). The past 9 months had been amazing, fun and life changing. My classmates and I listened to this song constantly during our last few weeks together. The vibe of the song reflected the atmosphere. It was a time filled with friendships and community.
Fast forward 8 years later, and I am stuck in lockdown. Although I've been so fortunate and blessed with an amazing household, I have felt the ache of loneliness this past week and become fearful of being lonely in the future. All of a sudden, I was reminded about the song "My Dear" and I was taken back to 2012. I asked Jesus "Why are you reminding me of this? I am aching with loneliness here!" Jesus smiled and said "Honey, don't you remember what was happening during those last weeks?"
I thought back, and I remembered my heart was broken as my best friend started to date the person I was in love with at the time. I was truly heartbroken. Yet, somehow, I sang "My Dear" with my hands raised high. Although they were shaking with pain, without Jesus I felt I had nothing. Despite the pain and confusion, I still loved my Creator. Yet today, what I remembered the most was the great community during that time. I asked myself, "So why am I worried about the future? God has taken me through darker valleys than lockdown." Jesus said "Yeah, good question! Why are you worried about something that is not even a reality yet? I’ve got you." I don't know how he does it. Sometimes I feel the valley is so dark that I don't know if I am moving backwards or forwards, yet we always make it through. Together. And that's why I can sing, “I love you my Dear, my Dear”, even if it means I'll have to raise my hands, shaking with pain, confusion and uncertainty.
Trusting Him is a courageous thing to do and normally it comes with a ton of doubts. However, I've seen it with my own eyes - He always comes through, in one way or another. If you feel lonely or are captured in some other pain these days, ask for fellowship, ask for strength, ask for contentment - He loves giving us good gifts; may we just lift our eyes and see them. I pray that anxious thoughts and worries may flee from us, 'cos the truth is: He's got us.